Guide Laugh Scotland!

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    Find events by Holiday. This is not what we signed up for and, quite frankly, it diminishes us all. Dark forces are spending a great deal of poppy to engender feelings of dazed and sloppy wellbeing among us. Hardly a month goes by when some part of Scotland has not been voted the happiest or most desirable place in the known universe. Apparently, its islands scored 8.

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    A few years ago, Aberdeen was rated one of the three most joyful locations in the UK in a survey conducted by the accountancy firm PWC. Glasgow is regularly patted on the head and told that it is one of the friendliest cities on Earth by assorted international travel firms, while Edinburgh, the city of the wasted 4am licence, was rated the best place to live in the UK for three consecutive years.

    It shares its placing with Kazakhstan, which is also one of the most ecstatic countries in north central Asia.

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    If any of this stuff was true, it would suggest that not only is Scotland brimming with joy and happiness, but that the whole world wants to come here and mate with us. It is heady and dangerous stuff and makes me feel a little queasy and uncomfortable.

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    My adolescence and young adulthood were blighted by Peru , Iran and Costa Rica. There is a good reason why Scots soldiers have been prized warriors in every European theatre of war since the Treaty of Westphalia : the Scots know where danger is coming from and never allow themselves to charge ahead just because they prevailed in a minor strategic skirmish.

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    They always see the bigger picture and thus are neither blinded by the dazzle of victory, nor paralysed by the sting of defeat. There is good reason, too, why Scotland embraced craggy and honest Presbyterianism and eschewed emotional and flashy European Catholicism.

    We are at our best when we value rectitude and reticence and reject jocundity.